Thursday Oct 05, 2023

EP24: How to Improvise Your Way to Intimacy

“We all walk into the room together, performers and audience alike,” says Scott Braidman, Jim’s improv coach at the Happier Valley, a nonprofit improv comedy theater and training center in Hadley, Mass. “We don't know what's going to happen next. And then we discover it together.” This type of intimacy and mutual exchange with the audience that sets improv apart from so many other types of live performance requires a steady connection with your own emotional point of view. Of course, this is easier to do on stage than it is in life where emotions are unpredictable and always changing, and it’s especially true for men who have been raised in contemporary society. Luckily, being present is like any skill: the more you practice it, the easier it becomes and the better you get at it. 

 

For children, it comes more naturally. Scott discusses their natural ability to stay present as well as the importance of presence in parenting. He explains the way he felt obligated to only play with boys when he was young, and how by becoming involved in theater he rediscovered his natural ease with female friends. He also shares a fascinating story of his own father and how the trajectory of their relationship took a completely unexpected turn after an incident in an elevator. 

 

With Happier Valley, Scott hopes to make changes in the world by helping people incorporate improv tools into their lives to promote wellbeing and social justice. Hear his thoughts on what it means to give and receive feedback personally versus professionally and when honesty isn’t always the best policy. 



Quotes:

  • “Maybe why kids are so joyful is because they're just present with their reality day to day, moment to moment.” (5:08 | Jim)
  • "I don't know, the opposite of presence maybe is insurance." (6:03 | Scott)
  • “It does go back to that idea of presence. One of the reasons improv feels so special is that the show feels like it belongs equally to the performers and to the audience, the people who are in the room… they've brought something to you to give to you.” (16:18 | Scott) 
  • “The present can be sort of uncomfortable or not even uncomfortable, but it just takes effort. So for me, it is constant work day in and day out.” (27:39 | Scott)
  • “Being present is a really good practice, I think it improves your life and improves all of your relationships. So the more you do it–it's sort of like planking: the more you do it, the better you get at it, the longer you can stay in it with less effort.” (30:48 | Scott) 
  • “If I'm giving feedback to a performer and a team that I'm coaching, it's a little bit more, it's going to– this is going to sound negative–but it's a little more manipulative, I'm, it's not necessarily worthwhile for me to give that person the entire truth of what I'm seeing.” (41:41 | Scott)

 


Show Links

 

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podbean | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music



Connect with Scott Braidman:

Website: https://www.happiervalley.com/

 

Connect with Jim Young:

Website: www.thecenteredcoach.com

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/thecenteredcoach

Expansive Intimacy, the book: https://www.amazon.com/Expansive-Intimacy-Tough-Defeat-Burnout/dp/B0BFTSZ4ZG/

 

If you like what we're talking about on the show, would you consider sharing it with someone important in your life who might also appreciate it?

I'd also love it if you would rate, comment, and subscribe to Expansive Intimacy on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!

 

The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.

 

Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media

Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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