EP04: The Burnout Curse: Intimacy’s Inverse with Cait Donovan

“Being ostracized is our biggest fear,” says Cait Donovan, keynote speaker and host of Fried! The Burnout podcast.

 

 

 

In this episode, Jim is joined by Cait Donovan, a leading expert on individual and organizational burnout. Cait uses a rich combination of research and deep life experience to explain the myriad sources of stress that contribute to burnout.

 

This “web of causation,” as Cait refers to it, has biological, social, and psychological roots, which can begin in the womb or even further back.

 

According to neuroscience, adverse childhood experiences affect our ability to handle stress. The problem is deeply rooted in a lack of self-worth and linked inextricably to a self-perpetuating cycle of isolation.

 

The American ethos adds a confounding set of causation factors, with our emphasis on individualism and a warped focus on self-made success–a concept that Cait insists is a myth. Jim layers on an exploration of the pressure society puts on men to never make mistakes or ask for help. Together, they discuss the oft-ignored importance of environmental factors on causing or alleviating stress such as the comfortability of one’s chair, office aesthetics and access to natural light.

 

As Cait describes it, those who are most vulnerable to burnout often aren’t self-aware enough to even know how stressed they are. In response to that reality, Cait advises paying attention to what she calls “the anger group,” and describes how resentment journaling can create breakthroughs. She also explains the dark side of oxytocin and how Polish goat cheese led her to a breakdown.

 

Quotes:

“We’re not meant to be connected to 3,000 people at a time. We're just not designed that way…There are only so many people I can let in here before I can't handle it anymore.” (8:41-9:01 | Cait)

“Pay attention to resentment. It will show you where all of your boundaries are being crossed. It will teach you about your other emotions. It is this amazing guidepost that is palpable and obvious.” (38:59-39:12 | Cait)

“When you are constantly scanning your environment for other people's needs…you are essentially abandoning yourself and committing self neglect.” (43:53-44:10 | Cait)

Show Links:

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podbean | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music

 

Connect with Cait Donovan:

Website: www.caitdonovan.com

Podcast: www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com

 

Additional resources from Cait:

Adverse Childhood Experience survey: https://www.theannainstitute.org/Finding Your ACE Score.pdf

FRIED podcast episode on the neuroscience of burnout: https://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/shonte-javon-taylor

FRIED podcast episode on male burnout: https://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/jim-young-ceo-dad-burnout-emotional-gold-digging-and-why-relationships-matter

 

Connect with Jim Young:

Website: www.thecenteredcoach.com

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/thecenteredcoach

The Men's Expansive Intimacy Project: www.thecenteredcoach.com/expansive-intimacy-project

Expansive Intimacy, the book: https://www.amazon.com/Expansive-Intimacy-Tough-Defeat-Burnout/dp/B0BFTSZ4ZG/

 

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The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.

 

Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media

Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm